How Long Has It Been Since You Slept In?


It’s been almost four years for me.

For the last few months, my girls have consistently woken up at 5:45 a.m. every day and there’s nothing I can do to coax them into go back to sleep with me. I’m not sure why I continue to try every morning.  Can you relate?

Standard morning for me:

I’m in a solidly deep sleep, dreaming something I rarely remember, and I’m awoken to:

“MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!”

I’m startled awake and quickly go use the bathroom knowing that I won’t have a chance for the next 30 minutes or longer because that’s exactly what they both need to do. While sitting there, the call for Mama repeats three or four or five more times with increasing intensity. Sometimes with unintentional vocal harmonies between both daughters. I force the urine out of my body as fast as I can so I can ease their angst and my own discomfort with the broken record and I rush into the little room they now share. (cute)

Izzy on a twin mattress on the floor. Sadie on a twin bed next to her. Occasionally they sleep together when they want to — so adorable.

“Hi Mommy” and “Izzy wants you Mommy” said at the same time.

“OK Sweet Girls, let’s go potty. But look out the window! See how dark it is? It’s still night time and we need to go back to sleep after potty. OK? Izzy? Sleep with Mommy?”

“No sweep. Poop Mommy. Poop-Poop!”

“OK Izzy, we’ll get you on the potty right now.”

“No Mommy!  Me first!  Me first!  I have to go right now!”

“OK Sadie, we’ll let you go first since you’re in big girl undies.  Sorry Iz.”

Izzy’s already on to another impulse and doesn’t care.

“MO-STER! LES HIDE!!!”

Giggles from Sadie.

“Yes Izzy, let’s hide!”

“Sades, let’s wait to play Monster. She has to go potty first. So do you.”

“OK. Mommy, guess what Sofia does at school when she finishes her work?”

“What?”

“She goes like this.”  (Points her finger in the air).

“Oh I see. Is that her way of saying she’s finished?”

“Yes, but that’s not what we do when we’re done.”

“What do you do?”

“Mommy! Poop! Iddy turn. Iddy turn.”

“Sadie, can you wrap it up? Izzy needs to go.”

“Mommy,” (grunt), “No.”

“Almost done?”

“I need six more hours.”

“That’s a sizeable amount of time. Pretty sure we can’t wait that long.”

“OK, six more minutes.”

“That’s better. So how do you let your guide know at school when you’re finished with your work?”

“We stand very very straight.”

“Ahhhhhhh interesting.”

I love the way her teachers come up with creative, non-verbal communication strategies to avoid taking on 30 children talking to them at the same time about their respective needs.  And at the same time I thought, “so military-like to have to stand at attention…..kind of rigid really…….she’s only 3!”…….and…….

“Wipe me Mama.”

“Is there another way you might say that?”

In her sing-song sweet voice:  “Mama, could you wipe me?”

“Ah sure. OK done. Off you go. Izzy?”

“Yes.”

“Your turn.”

“Iddy turn! Iddy turn! Iddy turn!”  Mini dance.

And the second I put her tiny bottom on the donut potty seat, she toots. Everyone laughs and they both look with excited anticipation for me to ask their favorite question and hear the response from Izzy that makes us laugh more.

“Was that a duck?”

“Goose.”

Once we’ve had our potty time and potty humor —  it’s typically somewhere between 6:00 and 6:15 a.m.

“How about we all sleep together for an hour?  What do you say girls?”

Who am I kidding?

Clocks are wound and there ain’t no going back.

This weekend, I’m going to experience something radically different. In a shocking move of Authentic Self Care, I’m going to spend the night away from our home tomorrow night. BY MYSELF! At our favorite retreat spot just outside Austin, called The Crossings.  Thank you Groupon!

Ultimately, my husband and I could benefit from a night away together and I really look forward to us doing that on a monthly basis if we can. But my higher short-term need is the opportunity to recharge myself. Alone.

How do I feel about this? I’m a big jumbled-up mess of elation, curiosity, fear, guilt and so way-past-tired that I wonder if I will be able to sleep as long and as well as I hope I do.

I said to Mark this morning, “What if I wake up at 6:00 am because my body is so conditioned to it now and I can’t go back to sleep?”

“It doesn’t matter!” he said.  “You can lie there in silence for as long as you want!  You can turn on some random 80s movie that is playing on the hotel T.V.! You can write in your journal or read!”

Oh My God.

Yes.

Sadie may forget that we talked about it and still cry out for me when she wakes up. And Izzy, whom I’m still nursing every morning and every night and every day when I get home from work, may have some big emotions that came up on Saturday morning when nursing isn’t an option for the first time.

And she may not.

Either way, I trust with full knowing and peace that they will be perfectly OK with their Daddy during this time and that I need this like nothing I’ve needed in a long, long time.

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4 Responses to “How Long Has It Been Since You Slept In?”

  1. Lis says:

    WOW, I can’t tell you how vastly similar our mornings are! Enjoy your night away, you deserve it girl! Lets grab lunch soon, miss you — 🙂

  2. Dawn says:

    Have a wonderful relaxing getaway, my friend! Now that BOTH of mine are in school, I take a daily nap. How lucky am I? I know I know… Your morning routine is so cute. You know you’ll miss it when it’s over.

  3. libby says:

    loving this post, hee hee hee! i needed to laugh, so thanks. i look forward to hearing about your night and morning at the spahhhhhh… unless you drank a strong brew of chamomile, im betting you mighta woke up early and vegged. or walked to greet the sun maybe!?

  4. Reggie says:

    very very similiar, but with only one little one, usually between 6am-6.30 am – right down to me peeing- but after I take her to the living room across the hall for morning boobster (don’t do it in the bed since finally completely night weaning) and then she has a pee pee in the potty, usually, usually asks to watch morning cartoons, I usually relent and she watches it while I run for my pee, then put the kettle on to make tea, then I join her on the couch or bed (if its been folded out the night before, as my hubby usually sleeps out in the living room , as until recently we had night time crying..) and then drink tea, and we eat fruit together and maybe a morning cookie and watch about 45 mins of TV. TV then ‘goes to sleep Maya and we can play with some dinasours or read a book or colour, yeah?’ she usually accepts this after the TV thing has been fulfilled. We then potter and play until breakfast with Daddy (who works from home) at around 8.30am – he then takes over while I have a shower etc etc — emails and so on. Tues and Thurs mornings, he takes her out at about 9.30 for the morning until he starts work at home at 12.30.
    So, there ya go..

    lets us know all about your night away. I hope it is wonderful.

    Now Maya sleeps between 7-9 hrs in a row, I am contemplating an evening out , maybe till 10/11 – who know ?? how wild can I get ? LOL … its been 2 years and so, I kind of like the idea.

    xxx

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