Attachment Mama

Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

The Search for our Perfect Childcare

By Monica Cravotta | Published: Sunday, May 16, 2010

As I prepare to relinquish my Stay At Home (occasionally Work at Home) Mom status this coming week, my feelings are all over the map. Sadness. Excitement. Relief. Anxiety. I can’t allow myself to wallow in the part that is grief because it won’t do me or the girls or my husband any good. I’m sure I will cry my private cry on the way to work for the first time and I imagine I’ll have pangs of guilt or worry come up at various points during these first few weeks when my girls and I make this rather significant life transition to spending more time apart from one another.

In the big picture, I’m filled with gratitude that this job opportunity came my way exactly when it did. Working for Whole Foods – a serious happy place for me for many, many years, and even more exciting — a job that is all about supporting my friend Rip Esselstyn and his Engine2 diet. I’ve been a fan of Rip’s recommended way of eating long before he wrote his book which is now a NY Times best seller. In fact, Mark and I and my step-daughter Audrey are quoted in the book and one of Mark’s recipes is also included.

A few months after I had my second baby in late 2008 and was eating vegan again to support her gastro-intestinal issues, Rip asked if his PR agency could pitch me as an Engine2 success story to Women’s World magazine — I guess because I was losing weight relatively fast after having a baby. But I still looked solidly pregnant! The magazine called me and liked my story and the next thing I know I found myself agreeing to be on the cover — all in the name of supporting Engine2! Last summer John Mackey, Whole Foods CEO hired Rip to be the voice of healthy eating for the company. If you go into any Whole Foods, you’re likely to see the Engine2 book displayed somewhere.

Whole Foods Global Headquarters

I believe my official title is “Engine 2 Specialist”. I’ll be working on the sixth floor of the beautiful Whole Foods building with the grocery store an elevator ride away. And the store is biking distance from house. I haven’t ridden a bike since Sadie was born. With this job I finally have the official impetus to exercise again this way and re-commit to being fully “plant strong” as Rip likes to say.

Now. For my sweet girls. What’s the plan? Who can I trust to care for them, love them, guide them, and teach them cool things in my absence? Our singer-songwriter nanny, Molly, that both girls adored is no longer with us official the Friday before Mother’s Day as she signed on with a nationally touring band and will be joining them at the end of the month. Until I figure out what feels best for the girls and that we can afford (full-time nanny not an option) — I thankfully have a friend who is stepping in to help for the next 2 weeks.

Last week I got a wild hair and decided to explore a preschool/daycare option for the summer that was radically different from Montessori. Montessori has been my eldest daughter’s school experience since she was 22 months old and where my littlest will start in the fall. (more…)

Posted in AP and Working Moms, Education | 2 Comments

Uncomfortably Gray

By Monica Cravotta | Published: Monday, April 26, 2010

Gray Gray Gray. Never liked it. I’ve always had a need for black and white.

I tortured myself with a gray relationship in my twenties. A guy I was involved with who called me at least eight times a day, wanted to share every meal with me, bought me gifts regularly, took me on multiple trips all over the United States and had sex with me spent the first year we were together insisting that we were just friends. The following three years together he went back and forth between Yes I love you and Maybe you’re just not it.

During that first year I kept trying to convince him that based on what we were doing together we were actually in an intimate relationship….ridiculously determined to receive that clearly defined label that would acknowledge my significance. And he would frequently say to me, “Life isn’t always black and white the way you want it to be.” Indeed. I clearly suffered from a seriously low self esteem at the time to sign up for a relationship like this as long as I did, but I forgive myself.

Going down memory lane a bit farther as I remember why my self-esteem was so crippled to have chosen this particular boyfriend — it was because I was coming off of the painful loss of my first love. We dated all through high school and college and were engaged briefly right after graduating. Eight months after we broke up, he married someone else. I spent the next year of my life drinking heavily, crying or singing in my whiskey or wine and occasionally writing poetry.

When contemplating my frustration with a parenting subject in my life right now that I feel uncomfortably gray about, I was reminded of one of my old poems and found it in a box of journals tonight. I wrote this during my drunk year in between the above two relationships when I wore black all the time. I thought it was artsy, sophisticated, edgy….who knows. It was also my way of mourning what felt like the death of my first boyfriend — but worse.

To Be

Not Hamlet, but me.

An oak leaf maybe

Fallen from a tree.

Weathered, restless, lonely

And floating free.

She’s not the same color

As she was before

No. No ma’am.

Not since he walked out the door.

Just Red today.

More Scarlett really

O hair that she

wants to shave off.

Occassionally

Just to look gay.

Gay for a day.

Maybe? No.

Angst ridden.

Powerful, Strong, Liberating too.

And most times

Dear Scarlett

Happens to be Blue

Despite a kaleidascope of emotion

She prefers Black above all.

Solid, unwavering, genuine

BLACK.

No question of shade

In this young woman’s heart

She is

who she is

who she is.

That’s right.

This is only her start.

Now here I am fifteen years later. I’ve gained wisdom on so many fronts; I roll with so much more than I ever did in my twenties or early thirties; and my angst has rolled over from one chapter of life’s central interest to another’s — just like a 401K plan or something. It went from the Single, Will-I-ever-find-true-love-again account to the Married Professional Mom, Am-I-doing-the-right-things-for-my-children.

Angst du jour? (more…)

Posted in Education, Mama Self Expression | 6 Comments

Dreaming up the Perfect Elementary School

By Monica Cravotta | Published: Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I mentioned a few posts back that amazing, unexpected gifts from the universe continue to appear since I started a regular practice of setting clear intentions and expressing gratitude for everything in my life.

Whenever I do the Power of Intention journaling exercise and write about my dream life, one of the lines that I’ve noticed I repeat every time is, “We have all the resources necessary for our children to attend any school that we like from preschool through college.”

What I would like for my girls to experience for elementary school? Montessori.

As we inch closer and closer to Kindergarten with our Sadie Bay not yet having manifested abundance, I have been thinking that perhaps I need to let go of this dream and get comfortable with public schools. Our neighborhood school has a fantastic reputation and I do believe that with great teachers and supportive parents that children can benefit from the traditional model of education.

Just like the fabulous lyrics in Fiona Apple’s Extraordinary Machine, I desire to roll with things more — to be good at being uncomfortable so I make the most out of what is.

But I’ll be honest. Here’s what I’m uncomfortable with regarding the traditional model of education: (more…)

Posted in Education | 9 Comments