Nightweaning: Our Cry-With-Daddy Approach

By Monica Cravotta  |  Published: Sunday, February 14, 2010

Yes. The time has come for us to nightwean. I’ve reached the end of my emotional and mental capacity to be woken up every two – three hours and have my sweet baby yanking and sucking and grabbing and pinching and it going on and on and on. She is 16 1/2 months.  Not a bad ride for the all-night baby buffet.  And my current intention is to keep nursing her during the day until she’s at least two.

Lots of big changes are happening this month in our home — including me working full-time starting tomorrow (!!!) — so a decent night’s sleep is truly imperative.  There is too much at risk for our family’s financial well-being for me to continue to be the crazy no-sleep lady.

A lot of people in the Attachment Parenting community look to Dr. Jay Gordon for as having the best night-weaning method that aligns with our collective views on night-time parenting and providing consistent, loving care. He is quite clear on not advocating night-weaning at all for babies younger than 12 months and offers tips for the older baby or toddler.

When I tried his gradual approach with my first daughter when she was 17 months, this ended up adding to her distress.  She couldn’t understand that sometimes when she was sleeping, she would get Mama’s milk and sometimes she wouldn’t.

Within a few painful nights of this, we determined we needed to quickly eliminate nursing after first going to sleep at night and not nurse again until morning. I was so worried about this decision because I believed that allowing my baby to cry — even if I was with her — was cruel and could break her trust and harm our attachment.

But we received some great counseling from early parenting expert Carrie Contey, PhD, who suggested, like Dr. Gordon, that for babies there is an significant difference between crying alone and crying with a parent.  I remember feeling so much relief hearing this!

To be able to experience emotions like anger, sadness and disappointment…..and even despair — this is all part of being human. I think that having to feel those feelings alone would be quite terrifying as a baby. Feeling and expressing them fully and loudly in the arms of a loving parent offering sympathy and acknowledgment — that’s different in my book.

When we night-weaned my eldest, I still slept next to her and followed Carrie’s advice to make statements like, “I know you are so sad and so angry and you really want milk.  I’m sorry sweet angel – no more milk at night.”   We had two very difficult nights — with wildly distraught cries similar to those I heard last month when we weaned her binky.

This time, we determined that because I’ve got to be on top of my game in very short order and really need maximum sleep, that Mark would be the one to comfort Izzy in her middle-of-the-night wails for Mama. And instead of following Gordon’s gradual night wean suggestion, we’re going straight to it because we believe it’s less confusing.

God Bless our sweet new housemate, Jeanine.  She offered to stay with some friends last night and tonight so that Sadie and I could sleep downstairs in her room and be shielded from the sound of Baby Izzy’s cries.

I’m relieved that this first full-time job is freelance work which allows me to be at home and take nursing breaks during the day and hopefully make up for the nighttime separation sadness.

Looking for additional ideas and advice on nightweaning?   Kelly Mom offers some great tips too.

Posted in Breastfeeding, Nightweaning | 2 Comments

Living the Dream – We Love Our New Housemate!

By Monica Cravotta  |  Published: Thursday, February 11, 2010

Here’s the bizarre dichotomous nature of my life right now. On the one hand, I’m fully living the stress of this recession as my husband and I scramble to figure out how to live off of 10% of the income we had three years ago.

On the other hand, I’ve never been more rich than I am right now. I’ve never felt more alive or inspired to create; I have never been more fully expressed (I love writing my bloggity blog!), and I have never felt more gratitude for everything I have:  My family, my health, my connections with others. Pure sweetness and true wealth in my book.

And — HOLY POWER OF INTENTION — we have a live-in cook!!

Amazing!  Sometimes I still can’t believe it. I can play with my girls and/or exercise while someone else prepares a home-cooked healthy meal and after dinner I can either work or participate in our bed-time routine and someone else cleans the kitchen. What??  Is this for real?? (more…)

Posted in AP & Self Care, Breastfeeding, Co-Sleeping, Nutrition | 2 Comments

Pass it On: Urgent Call for Human Milk Donations for Haiti Infants

By Monica Cravotta  |  Published: Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I am no longer eligible to donate breast milk now that my youngest is over one year old. In lieu of the current crisis in Haiti and urgent need there for donated human milk, I’m doubly saddened to not be able to do this. I’m posting the information here to anyone reading Attachment Mama with a baby under one year to please consider donating milk and/or passing this along to  your Mama friends, posting on your Facebook pages, updating on Twitter, etc.

This announcement is copied from my Special Addition newsletter. They are great Austin supporters of breastfeeding and Milk Banks — they sell and rent breast pumps.

The Human Milk Banking Association of North America (HMBANA), United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC), International Lactation Consultant Association/United States Lactation Consultant Association (ILCA/USLCA), and La Leche League International (LLLI) are jointly issuing an urgent call for human milk donations for premature infants in Haiti, as well as sick and premature infants in the United States.

This week the first shipment of human milk from mothers in the United States will be shipped to the U.S. Navy Ship Comfort stationed outside Haiti. Comfort is currently set up with a neonatal intensive care unit and medical personnel to provide urgent care to victims of the earthquake. An International Board Certified Lactation Consultant stationed at the U.S. Navy base in Bethesda, MD is assisting with providing breast pump equipment and supplies to the Comfort. Dr. Erika Beard-Irvine, pediatric neonatologist, is on board the Comfort to coordinate distribution of the milk to infants in need. HMBANA, USBC, ILCA/USLCA, and LLL are responding to requests to provide milk for both premature infants and at-risk mothers who have recently delivered babies on board the U.S.N.S. Comfort, but an urgent need exists for additional donations.

At the current time, the infrastructure to deliver human milk on land to Haiti infants has not yet been established. As soon as that infrastructure is in place, additional donations will be provided to older infants.

Mothers who are willing to donate human milk should contact their regional Mothers’™ Milk Bank of HMBANA. A list of regional milk banks is available at the HMBANA website.

Currently milk banks are already low on donor milk. New milk donations will be used for both Haiti victims as well as to replenish donor supplies to continue to serve sick and premature infants in the U.S. Donor milk provides unique protection for fragile preterm infants. Financial donations are also strongly encouraged to allow HMBANA, a nonprofit organization, to continue serving infants in need.

UNICEF, the World Health Organization, the Emergency Nutrition Network, and medical professionals all recommend that breastfeeding and human milk be used for infants in disasters or emergencies. Human milk is life-saving due to its disease prevention properties. It is safe, clean, and does not depend on water which is often unavailable or contaminated in an emergency. Relief workers, health care providers, and other volunteers are urged to provide support for breastfeeding mothers to enable them to continue breastfeeding, and to assist pregnant and postpartum women in initiating and sustaining breastfeeding.

For more information, contact HMBANA at 408-998-4550 or www.hmbana.org . Additional information can be provided from the United States Breastfeeding Committee at 202-367-1132, ILCA/USLCA at 1-800-452-2478, or La Leche League at 847-519-7730.

You may contact the Mothers’ Milk Bank at Austin by calling or emailing:

MMBA
900 East 30th Street
Austin, TX 78705-3378
(512) 494-0800
info@mmbaustin.org

Posted in Breastfeeding, Mother's Milk Bank | No Comments

When Mama Gets Sick

By Monica Cravotta  |  Published: Monday, December 14, 2009

Standard prescription: “Get some rest.”

HA!

When nursing, and especially if you’re still nursing in the middle of the night, this may feel impossible and like a cruel joke when someone suggests it. Yes, it’s unfortunate that we can’t knock ourselves out for 9 hours with that glorious nighttime sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffy head fever so you can rest shot of cherry Nyquil.  Holy Moses that sounds so fantastic to me right now.

But let’s focus on what IS possible. Here’s a few breastfeeding-safe tips (safe for baby, safe for milk supply) I collected from Austin AP Mamas:

• Zicam q-tips- saline solution that helps everything drain out.
• Mucinex for the congestion; ibuprofen for the fever and sore throat.
• Steam bath before bed
• Comprehensive, reliable list of safe over-the-counter and herbal remedies: http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/cold-remedy.html
• My personal favorite:  Lots and lots of Vitamin C through food and supplements.  I prefer Emergen-C packets over swallowing horse pills.
• And a recent wild card addition: Practicing Gratitude

Yes! I am grateful for this silly common cold reminding me to slow down.  I am grateful for my ability to heal myself.  I am grateful for life and for perspective.

As I write about this tonight in my stuffy state, I can’t stop thinking about Austin’s beloved Mama and Artist, Andrea Burden, who recently tragically lost her life less than 48 hours after she told a friend she wasn’t feeling well but thought she just had “the bug that’s going around.” Her headache turned out to be fatal bacterial meningitis.

One of my favorite Andrea paintings - so sweetly capturing the beauty and soul of Mother-Daughter Love

She was such a beautiful soul who has left behind hundreds of grieving friends and many family members including a partner and two precious daughters ages 2 and 12.

Her memorial service in Austin yesterday was profoundly lovely with endless outpouring of love and honor of her Spirit — her enchanting, mystical radiance, her loving nature and the way she infused her daughters with magical fairy-like love and adoration. She was referred to as Austin’s Fairy Queen.

Hearing her older daughter speak broke my heart into 100 pieces.

She said, “God needed a new angel and picked my mom because she already was one.”

Indeed she was. I am so blessed to have part of her angelic creative hand in my site to infuse me with a bit of her precious sparkle dust whenever I write. Thank you Andrea. I’m forever grateful and inspired by the beauty you created.

Posted in AP & Self Care, Andrea Burden, Breastfeeding | 1 Comment

Making a Children’s Album to Benefit The Mother’s Milk Bank

By Monica Cravotta  |  Published: Tuesday, November 17, 2009

String's Attached White Album show Nutty Brown Cafe 06

When I was pregnant with my first daughter in 2006 my husband and I were building our house, along with our recording studio in the backyard. During my pregnancy, I sang backup for the String’s Attached White Album show and befriended two other singers also singing in the show who happened to be due with their first babies the same week as me — Libby Kirkpatrick and Sarah Sharp.  We were quite a sight to behold on stage together!

A few months after all of our babies were born, I began cooking up an idea for the three of us to record a children’s music album together in our studio.  They both agreed that it sounded like fun and the seed was planted.

Over the next nearly three years with many stops and starts, more babies born, six more amazing women invited to participate, and Sara Hickman agreeing to produce the album — my little idea to record an album with a few friends has grown into something much bigger and is coming to life. I’m proud and scared and occasionally overwhelmed and find myself repeating my favorite mantra daily, “I can, I will, I am.” It’s one thing to dream up something and sell others on the idea, and another thing altogether to actually do it, to generate and regenerate momentum, and ensure everyone involved feels good about their choice to be a part of it. (more…)

Posted in Breastfeeding, Music | 2 Comments

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