The Unique Challenges of Being 3 1/2 Years Old

July 6th, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

I have quoted Slow Family Living founder and early childhood parenting coach, educator and speaker, Carrie Contey numerous times on Attachment Mama over the last year.  She never ceases to amaze me with her thoughtful insights on parenting babies and young children. Parents inside or outside of Austin can benefit from Carrie’s wise counsel. I’ve really enjoyed the number of workshops I’ve attended over the last three years and out-of-towners really appreciate her e-handbooks, tele-classes and phone consultations. Check out her web sites for options!

My husband and I recently reached out to Carrie for advice on our 3 1/2 year-old and her frequent intense emotions over the last few months which have felt like too much for her age to my husband.  With Carrie’s permission, I’m sharing her brilliant response in hope that it may serves other parents:

3.5 is a monumentally challenging time to be a little person and subsequently the parents of a little person. Even if conditions are ideal (slow pace of life, super resourced happy parents with tons of emotional, financial, physical support, minimal changes and transitions, plenty of exercise (but not too much;) …she would still be having a hard time because that’s what 3.5 is all about.

It’s halfway between 0 and 7 and it’s fraught with the desire to stay a baby and feel extremely felt by the main people around her and to be completely independent and not need a thing from you. It’s crazy making for her and for you. And, add in all the changes, stresses, new stuff, good stuff, hard stuff… that your family is going through and yes, she’s going to be challenging. A lot of the time.

All that said, I do believe 3.5 is a golden opportunity for:

1) helping her understand how to feel all these big feelings AND know that other people can have their feelings and can set boundaries so she can be safe. Both are true. And she’s learning this. And she needs patience and compassion and love and presence in monumental ways right now. And so do you. For yourselves.

2) doing some digging into your own early experiences. She’s pushing big buttons that are rooted in that time of life for you. Did you get to tantrum with support? If not, what happened when you expressed big feelings? How do you relate to yourself now when you are feeling those kinds of feelings? It’s all in there and it’s all up because she’s so emotional at the moment. Which is really exactly where she needs to be. It’s your work to get really well resourced, look at what’s triggering you, be clear with your boundaries and ride the waves. Think of it as learning to surf. Read More »

 
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Posted in Attachment Parenting | 2 Comments »


My Path to a Home VBAC

July 2nd, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

Warning Label: This story contains all kinds of foul language that I’m usually careful about excluding from my articles. But my VBAC story just wouldn’t be the same without it.  Also, this post will, for sure, be my longest post on Attachment Mama as it compares the c-section birth experience with the H-BAC. So grab your tea and a comfy chair and settle in for this one!

My story begins in song. Please sing aloud to the tune of the Brady Bunch theme song:

Here’s the story,

Of a rockin’ home birth

Sometimes I can’t believe that it’s my own

I went to hell and back in 6 long hours

And then my babe was born

A home V-BAC, A home V-BAC

Here’s the story of my ass-kicking V-BAC.

Read More »


 
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Posted in Home VBAC story, Midwives | 8 Comments »


Bloggin’ Mama Social

July 1st, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

Catherine, founder of LiveMom.com, is putting together a super cool event next Friday evening for local blogging Mamas.  I plan to go and am really looking forward to meeting her and others.

Are you an Austin area mom who blogs? If so, join us at the second annual Austin Bloggin’ Mama Social on July 9, 2010 from 6:00- 8:00p.m. at Gallery D in downtown Austin.

Enjoy free wine, appetizers and desserts while mingling with some of your favorite local mama bloggers. Go home with a goodie bag and bid on some excellent items donated by local businesses in a silent auction. For more details and to RSVP, click here.

The Austin Bloggin’ Mama Social is hosted by Livemom.com and Gallery D. This event is sponsored by Food on the Table, Palacios ATA Martial Arts, and EndlessBeauty.com.


 
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Vacationing with Tots: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

June 29th, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

My dear mother initiated a fabulous new family tradition this year.  For her June birthday, she would like to host an annual family vacation with our family and my brother’s family. Between his two kids and ours, we have an almost 7 year-old, almost 5 year-old, a 3 1/2 year-old and a 21 month old.

Last Thursday, we embarked on our first trip together to beautiful San Diego – a family-friendly destination with weather that had one Austin family seriously contemplating a move for about 48 hours.  We came full circle on this fantasy after realizing that despite the weather, we’re really in love with Austin, our community of friends and all that is creative and cool about our town.

It’s just those painful Austin summers! Humidity and serious hotness — high 90s — for months. And the damn mosquitoes.

In San Diego, we’ve been in perfect weather nirvana for five days. Delightful mid-70 degree, dry, bug-free air.  We deeply inhale and relish it every day.

Sea World – huge hit.  Lego Land – amazing, but better for older kids (4+).   The aquarium – solid choice for our drizzle day.

Yesterday we took the kids to check out the beach and we all wore pants and jackets.  No one was up for playing in the water, but we went to take family pictures for Christmas cards.  Our Littles were just thrilled to walk in the sand and collect sea shells.

Today, the San Diego Zoo. Absolutely amazing. What a treat.

As with anything, we learn as we go every day on what works and what doesn’t with our tots.  Our lessons learned may or may not apply to your little ones, but I’m posting here in case they are useful to anyone. Read More »


 
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Cultural Differences in Breastfeeding Project

June 23rd, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

Natasha Sriraman (MD, IBCLC) and Stacy Meyers (RNC, IBCLC), some groovy lactation consultant Mamas and founders of a breastfeeding support group called Best Milk Bistro are working on a project regarding cultural differences in breastfeeding. More specifically, they are interested in the attitudes, beliefs, and practices of breastfeeding within specific cultures.

They’d like both personal stories from mothers and professional experiences of Lactation Consultants or other Health Care Providers working with moms and babies to get a picture of how breastfeeding is viewed within each particular region, country, and/or religion in the context of the mother, the baby, the husband, extended family, and social issues.

They are looking for moms of a distinct cultural group to interview for anecdotal stories. It can be any culture; they are casting a wide net.  Questions they posted to me that I’m passing forward:

  • Do you know any past or current breastfeeding moms with whom you can put us in touch?
  • Are you aware of any providers who work with a particular cultural population?

"Madonna of China"

Most everyone that reads my blog has or is breastfeeding a baby or toddler and you all live in very different places, have different spiritual or religious beliefs, and your own unique extended family situations.

Ladies — if you’re up for an interview to support this research project, please email:  stacyibclc@gmail.com.

Curious to know the story behind Jiang Xiaojuan, the amazing woman in this photo I stumbled upon tonight?  You can read about her on a Moderate Voice post from Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of Women Who Run with Wolves (loved it).

How cool would it be for Natasha and Stacy to interview her for their project?


 
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