Getting Unsolicited Parenting Advice

So I went to my first baby shower in probably three years this weekend and was reminded how outrageous people are about giving unsolicited advice to pregnant women.

I know I’m guilty of this and am vowing to stop it. Showers are the worst at drumming up Mommy advice en masse. Mamas – pregnant for the first time — consider asking the host of your baby shower to make a request to attendees coming to support you in your transition to motherhood to focus their best intentions in another way. Like putting together a food calendar for you. (Your local friends and family sign up on a calendar that goes into effect after the baby is born to bring dinners to your house.)


In my opinion, the best thing we can all tell a fretting mom-to-be is:  trust yourself and be kind to yourself.

What happens throughout pregnancy and following the birth of every angel that joins us is nothing short of miraculous. (Yeah Monica, we know that. Duh.) But you may not know about the primal intuition and sensitivity to Truth that you gain as a mother. I believe this is universal. It’s like growing another heart inside your body.

Mothers know. You know when something is not right with your baby.  You know when something’s not right with the world that threatens them or you. You become a Lioness that will do anything to protect your young. And you will hear, see, feel what no one else does.

Some of the advice thrown at my friend this weekend (I held my tongue):

  • Don’t listen to the Breastfeeding Gestapo
  • If you’re a light sleeper at all, don’t let your baby sleep near you
  • You have to get a swing — it’s the only way you’ll ever get through a meal

Of course I have my opinions about all of the above, but my personality loathes conflict and I wasn’t about to start a counter-advice session with my friend. She’ll figure out what works best for her and that is none of my business.

However….on the subjective of breastfeeding — the Mothers’ Milk Bank of Austin is in desperate need of donors. New mamas, or Mamas-to-Be, please consider it. Right now for Texas and the surrounding states this milk bank serves, the demand for donated breast milk to feed premature babies in hospitals is 3x the available supply.

Thank you milk makers.



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One Response to “Getting Unsolicited Parenting Advice”

  1. Leslie says:

    Great post, and very true!

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