My Breastfeeding Yo-Yo

With 100% sincerity I am about to attempt to promote the annual Breastfeeding Celebration event at City Hall taking place this Friday and share my current waning desire to continue nursing.

What?! Attachment Mama wants to wean?  INCONCEIVABLE!

Hey — it is what it is.  Some women highly committed to Attachment Parenting will breastfeed until their child chooses to wean and I applaud this choice.

And despite fully appreciating how honoring this is of the child’s emotional needs and my own strong desire to maintain whatever level of secure attachment I can while being away from my children so much now that I’m working full-time,  over the last few weeks I’ve been hearing myself thinking and even occasionally saying out loud, “I want my boob back.”

Yes, it’s singular. One boob. Both my girls rejected my left side within the first six months of nursing. Or maybe I was more comfortable with them positioned on the right side and the rejection evolved from me unconsciously putting them there more often. Either way, they both eventually refused the left side and I’ve been lopsided ever since.

For the last three and 1/2 years I’ve looked in the mirror to see a Picasso painting version of my former self. So that I didn’t get too angst-ridden about my post-motherhood body which includes lumpy ass, permanently pregnant looking belly, and lopsided chest, I wrote a little ditty to add some levity to my situation. This is three years old now and many of my friends have already heard it. Many of you have not.

I will share it here now and hope not to lose some of you with my foul language which — outside of my Home VBAC story, I’ve been careful to omit from this blog.

My little song is called My Left Tit and you sing it to the tune of Three Blind Mice.

Ready?  Here we go:

My left tit.

My left tit.

Oh what a sight.

So much smaller than the right.

My baby stopped nursing it months ago.

It shrunk like a dick in a cold water you know.

Now I feel like a walking Picasso.

My left tit.

There you have it.

The irony is that my shrunken side is likely to ultimately be the better looking side — because when the day finally comes for me to actually say “sorry honey, no more” my Mighty Righty may turn into a little shriveled-up tea bag.

AND NOW — let’s talk about Friday’s Breastfeeding Party in Austin!!!

Friday, 11:00 am – 1:00 pm at City Hall (301 W. 2nd Street)

Hosted by Central Texas Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies Coalition and City of Austin WIC, the “Austin Hero of Breastfeeding” award will be presented in the council chambers at 12:30 pm.

I am going on my lunch break — sadly sans my babies because it will be too difficult to coordinate with preschool. Hanging with my fellow AP peeps, I may be inspired to extend my current plan to wean my Littlest nugget when she turns 2 (first week in October!).  We’ll see…..

Regardless of how long I personally choose to continue, I will forever be an advocate of breastfeeding and do my best to support programs and efforts that help to educate and inform our community and beyond — all with the goal of normalizing it.

Hope to see some of you there!

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2 Responses to “My Breastfeeding Yo-Yo”

  1. Reggie says:

    HILARIOUS! read this a few nights ago – thank you – refreshingly open and human:)

  2. Your baby will be fine. Don’t stress yourself out worrying about it. I actually yelled at my dog the other night I sobbed for an hour feeling so guilty about it. I kept trying to calm myself down too it’s really hard to do. Since your dog is at the vet, obviously your situation is a lot more upsetting than me being a mean jerk to my poor dog. I know it must be hard on you. Every time I’ve gotten really upset during pregnancy worried about my baby I’m reminded of my aunt. When my aunt was in her 20s, she was 4 months pregnant w/ her 2nd child her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident. You cannot get more traumatic than that. To make it even more devastating she had a 2 1/2 year old as well. The baby was born a few weeks early was only a little under 6lbs but she was fine still is to this day. If my cousin survived the stress of that in the womb, I’m sure your baby will be fine.

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