Mama Pet Peeves — Join the Purge!

Book People Stairs*  Nipple twiddling, pinching and biting.  Always a good time.

*  The Double Cry (for parents of more than one you know what I mean…I can only imagine the Triple Cry).

*  The desperate need of a toddler to have something seemingly small be a certain way.  And each of these needs accompanied by intense, tear-filled despair:

“But I wanted to put the lid back on!!”

“Noooooooo!  I want the GREEN bowl!!”

“But Mama I don’t like that kind of noodle!!”

* When we’re all together (Mom, Dad, 3 year-old and 1 year-old): the inability to have an adult conversation. To even finish most sentences.

* Baby rapidly flinging and throwing food before I can prevent it.

* Dirty fingernails. I know. Random and petty.  But that’s why they call them “pet” peeves right?

* Walking into Casa de Luz (an Austin seat-yourself vegan restaurant that we frequent) alone with my two Littles — one that needs to be carried and the other that needs to be watched — and experiencing a room filled with people absentmindedly half-watching me while I attempt  to get the stuck high chair out off the top of the stack and awkwardly walk with it to a table while holding baby and no one feeling inspired to offer a hand.

* Reliving the college experience without the fun freedom perks: intense sleepless nights like studying for finals — but “finals week” lasts for three years and there is no sleeping in. Ever. Eating a lot of beans and rice because we can’t afford anything else. Feeling hungover all the time without the good-time alcohol buzz that should precede it. And being in a perpetual state of learning something new the hard way.

* When people say, “You look tired.”  How do I respond to that?  Usually with a smile and a simple, “Yep, you nailed it!”  What I’d like to say is, “Glad to know I look hot — thanks for noticing! It’s been so fun sleeping and showering and exercising and primping lately!”

*  Floor level merchandising directed at children.  The local master at this: Book People. Their children’s book section is on the second floor. Each step leading to the second floor has on it a different, random, completely unnecessary, but visually and texturally appealing to a child, thing.  Highly irritating to me. The last time we were there my 3 year-old picked up one of the balls and threw it down the stairs. I watched as it bounced all the way down and then flew past one of the employee’s heads at the bottom of the stairs.  The employee gave me a shaming look that said, “Why don’t you have better control of your child?”  And I slammed him back with my newly assertive, post HBAC look that said, “Are you kidding me? Your store created this, Asshole.”

* People who have a problem with public breastfeeding, people who think violence is the best way to raise a child to be respectful, and people who think being a Stay At Home Mom is mindless, easy work.

There! Feels good to get the oogies out as I like to say.  That was almost as satisfying as going out on a long run which is 100% in order today because it’s 75° and sunny in Austin today — Woo-hoo!

Any other mamas feel like adding to the Attachment Mama Pet Peeve list — I welcome it.

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14 Responses to “Mama Pet Peeves — Join the Purge!”

  1. B says:

    Man I love your blog. Every single one of those points resonated with me (except for the fact that I am mama to one not two….and still the list resonated!!).

    Other pet peeves: *people saying to me “you’re so lucky to have such a great husband who’ll babysit” errrrm no, actually the child is his too…..

    *People giving me a certain look when I don’t tell my child off every 10 seconds for doing something that is actually totally developmentally appropriate (he is only one for goodness sake, he doesn’t have impulse control!)

    I have a million more but they’re not springing to mind. I really empathised with all of yours which is why I had to comment (I’ve been reading along for ages – such a great blog 🙂


  2. Kristi Ward says:

    Love this post! I’m with you on feeling like we’re learning something new the hard way. My pet peeve is the perpetual comparisons and labeling, which started when my (twin) girls were born. I cannot count how many people said crazy stuff like “Oh, this must be the pretty one.” Great, thanks a lot, lady. One more frequent comment on infant-hood, “You’re so lucky. Instant playmates.” Yeah, maybe when they’re 2-3, but right now it’s just double duty.

  3. Dawnie says:

    Here’s my biggie from yesterday: (I may add more later.)
    When I use my gentle but firm mommy voice to teach Reagan, he gets upset and says, “You’re mad at me! I don’t like it when you talk to me with that voice!!” I assure him I’m not mad at him, I love him, but I’m doing my mommy job and he replies, “YES YOU ARE! EVERYONE IS BEING MEAN TO ME!”
    Mind games.

  4. Dawnie says:

    Got more
    When Daddy walks through the door and expresses irritation that there is a toy mess in the front room of the house. It’s not realistic to think that I can avoid that. Accept the mess.

    When I am using the bathroom and Reagan busts in the door jumping up and down screaming, “I have to go to the bathroom!!!” I will usually stop and let him go so we avoid an accident. This is not comfortable for me.

  5. Dawn – doesn’t it take you back to our old favorite comic strip that we read together in the CU dorms…. “The Angriest Dog in the World”. We used to laugh at how angry that David Lynch dog was.

  6. Leslie says:

    Strangers, total strangers, sharing their political, social, religious, parenting, etc. views with me and assuming that I agree and feel the same as they do. I rarely agree with these people and want desperately to escape but the “polite” me often stays in the conversation.

    People waiting for my parking spot and giving sharky, impatient looks while I wrangle my 3 year old and 1 year old into the car, load up groceries, sling, shopping basket cover, purse, and more. They act like I am forcing them to wait for this particular spot.

    Thanks, that was fun!

    • Monica says:

      I am so with you on both of these. I’m the same way when someone is talking to me about their views assuming mine match. I wonder why it is so hard for us to say, “I don’t hold the same view as you.” Or “I actually disagree.” It’s wild. I can say those words all day long with my husband and not blink an eye. 🙂

  7. Kristi Ward says:

    Hey there — I sent in a little note for you. Did you receive? xxoo Kristi

    • I didn’t it! Were you joining the mama pet peeve purge? how are you girlfriend?!

      • Kristi Ward says:

        Oh yes, I was joining in the purge and it felt so GOOD! My comment was about people comparing same sex siblings. “This must be the X (insert smart, pretty, go-getter, or creative) one.” Have you encountered with your two lovelies?

        Speaking of love, I’ve been loving Attachment Mama. The books, parenting strategies, and daily struggles are hitting home. I don’t think I’ll ever figure out how to all enjoy daily dinners together, but you’ve given this mama lots of inspiration.

        Things are going OK here. Today we had a scare when the school called this afternoon to report that Iz was missing. They had searched the entire school and she was gone. Hello heart attack, crazy driving to the school in shock, only to find out that she and Ava wore the same shirt to school and the teachers confused them. Awful. But everything is better now. Breathe.

        How is the professional writing work going? Do you like?

        Thinking of you in Colorado! xxoo

        • KRISTI – OMG, I can’t imagine that drive to school. Thank GOD. I still don’t get how they thought she was missing. I’m sure you’re beyond relieved.
          Oh, and that photo of us all happy holding hands before dinner — keep in mind — that was posed for the camera! Most nights Izzy hits her mysterious threshold of food and then started tossing what’s left on the floor. Sadie is wanting to play versus eat…..but having help with dinner and clean-up has been amazing.
          Work is OK. Look forward to something steady. I used to enjoy the uncertainty of “what’s next” with freelancing. Now, with family, I really crave security. Funny how life changes, right? Miss you!!!

  8. amy says:

    I love the rant.

    My pet peeve is the person giving me unsolicited advice on how to teach my child to sleep through the night.

  9. Monica says:

    Amy! YES! That should be top of the list here.

  10. Reggie says:

    me again, can’t stop, now that I’ve found you…. with you on the peeve point about playing with the non-feeding nipple – whoa! that one is super hard for me. Can handle it some days when awake, but when I am tired and its going on and on and on – I could scream, sounds terrible, love breastfeeding but the twiddle – oooh, its a hard one.

    Also, little one falling asleep to find you’ve forgotton to change the diaper and then have to do it in the middle of the night. Too early naps, too late naps, messing up the day.

    Yes, ditto, on people waiting for the parking spot.

    My daughter wanting me to hold at the fridge door to play with the magnets… on, off, on, off….. so on and so forth. JUst the standing there – too much for too long and trying to be patient and unconditional.

    think that’s it for now…. thanks for the rant.

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