Shifting the Food Expectations of Special Occasions

October 26th, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

Mini fret du jour:   all efforts to help my children eat healthy will inadvertently contribute to an obsessive, over-consumption of the world’s most horrible food when they are teenagers and I can no longer guide the menu selection. My husband informed me the other night that he really hopes that I will experience life with less worry some day soon. Oh Yes. I realize everything in this life is a choice — including the way we feel.  And breaking the Mommy Fret pattern is a doozy for me!

What would happen if I chose not to worry about anything?  That is the question, isn’t it?  If I didn’t fret about and plan and do and reconsider and ponder all that could be done to protect and care for the hearts and minds and bodies of my children, what would happen?

Ideally my trust in the universe and in myself and in my children and their ability to understand and know would translate into a life experience with more levity for all of us I’m sure.  So. Yay!  Another opportunity to reflect on what it means to Protect, Love, Honor and Let Go as a Mother — all at the same time.

A lovely woman that I work with told me that she grew up a few blocks from where we live today in a hippie family. Five children in a two bedroom house.  They all went to the Waldorf school which was affordable then.  Plus they had an additional discount (or perhaps even free?) because their Mom drove the school bus or something.

Anyway, she said her groovy, hippie Mom was all about feeding them the healthiest possible food.  And when she got into middle school and was visiting friends’ houses that had hot dogs, pizza, pop, cookies, chips…….she thought she had landed in Disney Land and gorged herself whenever she had the opportunity.

So I find myself in this ongoing conundrum where I don’t want to be the mother who makes junk food so verboten that when my children are exposed to it, they freak out and form rebellious addictions. (I have these myself!) And I don’t want to be apathetic about it either — which to me translates into unspoken endorsement.

At our first 3 year-old soccer game (mine has yet to want to leave the sidelines), one mother brought cupcakes for the after-game snack.  The game was at 9:00 in the morning.  I wanted to pull my hair out I was so annoyed.  Who wants to tell your child, in front of all the other children, that they can’t have what everyone else is having?!

My Go Along to Get Along persona continually trumps my desire to go against the grain on casually accepting the food that is put in front of our children.  I’d like to get better about this.

I got brave for the girls’ recent birthday party and boycotted the traditional cake or cupcakes.  I made raw pie and ordered raw, vegan chocolate cupcakes from Whole Foods.  I thought for sure I would hear some children complaining that this wasn’t normal or right or something (including my own!) — but they were 100% pumped.

The raw pie is super simple if you have a food processor.  I don’t have any specific measurements — I just go on feel.  But you combine dates and your nut(s) of choice for the crust.  If you want to get fancy — add some cinnamon or nutmeg or something.  I go plain jane.  Then blend up some strawberries for a layer of sauce.  And then decorate with a layer of bananas, followed by sliced berries.  Done!

I haven’t tried making the raw chocolate cupcakes myself yet — but the ingredients were cacao, walnuts, cashews, coconut oil, agave and dates.

Now…..for Halloween.  So outside of boycotting trick-or-treating, there’s really no way to be a Loving, Cool Mom and avoid sugar completely on Halloween.  But my general philosophy for the time being is that there is an opportunity to introduce different fun, sweet holiday food traditions at home, to not make a big deal out of traditions outside the home, and to simply minimize the Sugar  Crazies where possible. My plan for Halloween is to fully enjoy a neighborhood party with one of our friends, to go trick-or-treating, and to let each girl pick out two candies.  I’m undecided if we’ll make up the Great Pumpkin story for donating the rest — or simply say we’re giving the extras to our Dentist who is collecting candy to protect children from cavities.  (Isn’t there some dentist in town who is actually doing this?)

On the home front — here’s a non-sugar sweet to consider for Halloween season courtesy of Chef AJ:  Caramel apples made with date paste and a few drops of caramel extract.  If you’re concerned about the artificial nature of the extract — skip that and just do apples with date paste. Super easy to make. Just soak dates in a little water or almond milk and blend.  When you’ve got a consistency that you can roll the “sticked” apples in — you’re ready to go!

Looking ahead to Thanksgiving meal planning?  Check out these healthy modifications to the traditional menu we all love from Dr. John McDougall.  McDougall is a great resource on multiple fronts for those of you researching healthy eating.  I think I’ve recommended one of his books here before (available now on his site as an eBook) “The McDougall Program for Women“.

All for now my friends.  Until I find a partner in crime for developing content more often for Attachment Mama, please anticipate once a week (or so) posts for the time being.

xoxoxoxoxo


 
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A Moment of Truth

October 7th, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

So I’ve been wondering how long I can keep this up. Super over-stretched on the work front. Crazy pills really. And moving family out of house and back in. Planning a birthday party for my girls. Preparing for family coming to town tomorrow. And trying to keep up with weekly music lessons, soccer practice, parent meetings at the preschool…..getting remaining copies of Sweet Songs sold so I can write a check to the Milk Bank……(by the way….please join our Facebook page if you haven’t already!)

So in spinning those plates,  I have had no time for friends.  And I continue to feel bad about this.

Yesterday I happily said Yes to a lunch invitation with two of my favorite Mama friends in Austin, Bridget and Chelsea. I adore them. We met while pregnant with our second babies as we shared the same midwife and had due dates within a few weeks of each other. We bonded instantly and got together regularly during the year after the babies were all born.

I invited them to Whole Foods to eat lunch together on the patio, soak up some beautiful October sun, and get reconnected.

Half way through lunch I cried as I told Bridget and Chelsea how much I loved and missed them.

I then asked if they’d like to come up to my office on the 6th floor and check out the digs.  When we entered the elevator, I saw someone from my team.

I said, “Hey Chad, I want you to meet two of my favorite friends, Bridget and………….”

I looked at Chelsea’s face, my friend of two years that I adore, and her name was NOWHERE in my brain.  Nowhere.  I panicked thinking I was experiencing early onset of dementia, a mini  stroke, maybe a brain aneurysm……what??!!

I just stood there helpless, dumbfounded, and mortified.

After a long minute of WTF, Chelsea looked at me with cocked head and wrinkled eyebrows and said, “Monica, I’m Chelsea.”

Knowing that she’s reading my blog (Hi Chels!).  I write this to her:   Chels — hopefully you know you’re quite present in my heart and mind all the time — and this was the sad Moment of Truth that highlighted the degree of my current state of overwhelm and exhaustion.

I powered my way through family dinner and soccer practice last night and when it came time to read stories and sing songs with the girls for bed time, I was asleep between them after one story. 8:00 pm.

With 10 hours straight of sleep under my belt, my brain is working much better today.

I Love you Chelsea!


 
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A Report from the Land of Vegan

October 3rd, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

Photo Credit: The Vibe

This last week was a doozy. As I predicted. But everyone survived perfectly fine short of colds ’round the horn and some solid spousal bickering at week’s end. Preparing our house for the big “For Sale” sign, we had our wood floors refinished last week to repair them from water damage this year. Thankfully insurance paid for everything — including moving and storing our furniture and putting our family up in a hotel.

We wanted a Vacation Rental by Owner (VRBO) house to rent so that we could cook meals at home and keep up with daily laundry without  added hassle. And it was impossible to find last weekend thanks to the UT – UCLA football game. We were stuck with a hybrid plan.  First three days at the Doubletree downtown (don’t recommend — especially during a weekend with a home football game.) This past week in a duplex VRBO a few miles southeast of ours.

As it turns out — the week of temporarily living outside of our home while not on vacation (limited fun factor unless you’re 3-going-on-4) took place the same time that a week-long Engine 2 Immersion event was taking place at a retreat center in Austin. I was imagining needing to work at this event until 10:00 pm every night, and thankfully this wasn’t necessary. I helped with registration most of last Sunday, and voluntarily stayed late on Tuesday night for the vegan pizza dinner and Shawn Colvin entertainment. I had Mark bring up the girls so we could all be together and enjoy the healthy yum and sweet entertainment outside under a starry night.

Is anyone else in Austin rejoicing this glorious weather?!  Every year around this time I find myself wanting to dance a happy jig everywhere I go.

But I digress. I thought you all might appreciate hearing some of the healthy eating knowledge that was shared during the Engine 2 Immersion.  What’s an Immersion? Whole Foods Market offers retreats for team members (employees) with high-risk biomarker tests to get immersed in healthy eating education.  They can choose to attend one from any of the Whole Foods Market Healthy Eating partners which include Eat Right America, Engine 2, and John McDougall.

For those of you just joining the Attachment Mama blog — in May I stepped out of my 3 1/2 year mostly Stay At Home Mom, very part-time Work At Home Mom role and into the role of marketing coordinator for Engine 2 at Whole Foods Market.  I now work at the global headquarters office for Whole Foods, conveniently located 5 minutes from my home.  And I’m happy to pass along all that I learn about Healthy Eating to my readers here at Attachment Mama!

Each day of last week’s Engine 2 Immersion in Austin was packed with thought-provoking, informative presentations. Pam Popper, PhD, who is both a naturopath and nutritionist, and Executive Director of the Wellness Forum, shared a great presentation on macronutrients — carbohydrates, proteins and fats.  I pulled some of her top points for you all below:

CARBOHYDRATES:
  • The body’s primary source of energy which should comprise about 70% or more of calories.
  • The body will not readily use protein and fat for energy, since it is inefficient to do so.
  • A healthy diet should be based on complex carbohydrates which can be found in fruit, vegetables, grains and legumes.
  • Consuming a diet based on these foods will assure enough energy for the body to function optimally daily.

PROTEIN

  • The most common question for people eating a plant-based diet is “where do you get your protein?”
  • Protein IS important for a number of reasons including the fact that our  immune system relies on proteins to form antibodies that fight bacteria and other foreign invaders.
  • There are 20 naturally occurring amino acids that comprise proteins. Eight of them are “essential” which means they must be provided from food; the body can synthesize the others.
  • Animal foods such as beef, pork, lamb, chicken, eggs, and dairy foods contain all of these eight essential amino acids.
  • Vegetables, grains, legumes, nuts and seeds all contain protein but very few contain all eight essential amino acids. Consuming a varied diet based on plant foods will provide enough of all of the essential amino acids needed for human health. At one time, it was thought that all 8 essential amino acids must be consumed at the same time in order for the body to make proper use of them but this is not true.
  • Although protein is important, human protein needs are actually quite low. Excretion studies show that protein needs are only 2.5% of daily calories
  • Breast milk, which fuels the rapid growth of human infants, is only 6% protein!
  • Federal guidelines for protein consumption vary – ranging from 10-35% of calories
  • Americans eat an average 15-16% of calories daily from protein; about 75% of it is from animal protein

PLANT PROTEIN vs ANIMAL PROTEIN

  • Black Beans  26%
  • Oatmeal  14.5%
  • Asparagus  51%
  • Spinach  57%
  • Broccoli  42%
  • Cheddar Cheese  25%
  • Hamburger  37%
  • Skim milk  37%
  • Egg  34%

FATS

  • Fats are also an essential part of cell membranes, and fat tissue even helps to regulate body temperature.
  • Fat consumption should be limited to between 10 and 15% of daily calories
  • It is easy to over-consume fat, and when you do so, your body will store it.

WHAT TO EAT/NOT TO EAT

  • Eat as much as you want of plant-based foods: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, plant milks without added sugar
  • Eat sparingly plant-based food that is high in fat:  avocado, nuts, coconut, olives and high sugar food like breads, dried fruit
  • Avoid dairy, oils, soft drinks
  • Special occasion:  alcohol, fruit juice, processed food

The above recommendations on the healthiest way to eat came from all the speakers.  Where am I at with this?  I aspire to it and I’m not 100% “Plant Perfect”.  Since my pregnancies, I’ve been less concerned about high-fat plant-based foods and have and continue to eat more than my fair share of avocados and nuts.  And during my pregnancies, I ate meat at least once/month purely on craving. In my first pregnancy, I craved red meat. In my second, I craved Thanksgiving dinner — turkey, stuffing and cranberry.

Breads. Our choice to limit breads this summer has made a difference in everyone’s health so we’re sticking to that.  Soft Drinks. The only soft drink that I’ve indulged in when someone offers it at a party is “Izze”.  Other than that, I haven’t had something akin to a Coke in over 10 years.  Oils/Dairy.  I go around and around on this.  I know it’s pure fat; I know it’s no bueno and calcium is better consumed in plants than dairy — and yet I haven’t fully let either go.  I still buy hummus made with oil and we still eat eggs/goat cheese once/week.  Special occasion items listed? Fruit juice – well, depends on if you call the blended up frozen fruit in our daily kale smoothie, fruit juice.  If you do — then I have fruit juice every day.  Processed food? Crackers still have me.  Alcohol? One glass of wine or beer a day after the kids are in bed?  Is that so bad?


 
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Attachment Mama, What Up?

September 22nd, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

It’s been almost 2 weeks since my incredible 24-hour retreat alone. I did not intend to take this much time off from Attachment Mama! A few people have asked to hear how my big night away went, so I’ll happily conjure up the memory of it here now.

Though The Crossings retreat and wellness center offers complete spa services, I did not indulge in that this time around. I did, however, fully enjoy a delightful dinner in silence with two $10 glasses of red wine.  Then, in a solidly buzzed state, I sauntered back to my guesthouse where my pristinely clean and tidy room awaited me with a private deck and balcony overlooking the Balcones Canyon lands Preserve. I breathed in the air, the view, the solitude, and the sunset with complete gratitude and a peaceful heart, knowing my girls were perfectly content with their father. I realize the mellow state of my being is probably more attributable to the two generously poured glasses of wine floating through my veins versus a truly natural feeling of content about being away from my little angels overnight for the first time.

After gazing at the rugged natural beauty around me for several minutes on the deck, I came back inside, closed all the window shades, undressed and was asleep in a kick-ass cozy bed within five minutes.  It was 8:30 p.m.. And I slept for 13 hours!  I did wake up briefly at the standard early-bird time my daughters wake up (5:45, God Bless). My heart raced with fret, wondering if my Littlest was O.K.  But after taking a few deep breaths, I thankfully fell back to sleep, enjoying my first post-baby solid “sleep-in” until 9:00. Pure Luxury!!

Since returning from my mini vacation, I’ve been focused on several time-intensive projects at work including coordinating pre-screening events of a film called “Forks Over Knives” with Whole Foods Market all around the country. The provocative film highlights the groundbreaking research of Cleveland Clinic surgeon, Caldwell B Esselstyn Jr. (Rip’s father) and T. Colin Campbell, PhD, author of The China Study.  They’ve both spent the last 25 years proving through research and patient studies that a plant-based diet can prevent many standard Western Diseases, including heart disease and diabetes.  The film officially releases to the public on March 11, 2011. Our press release that includes dates and locations of all the pre-screening events taking place in October should go out tomorrow.

Even though I still can’t claim to eat 100% plant-based myself and have had a whole variety of comical emotional responses to this reality since I joined the Healthy Eating team and Rip/Engine 2 —  I now confidently wear the PlantStrong badge. It’s exciting to be part of this healthy eating education movement — especially as I witness firsthand the idea of a plant-based diet becoming less and less fringe or “impossible” and increasingly more popular as people of all walks of life get curious about the benefits and start giving it a try.

Just today, CNN posted an interview with President Bill Clinton talking about his choice to eat almost entirely plant-based with the hope of reversing his heart disease. And he credits the studies of Rip’s father, T.Colin Campbell and Dean Ornish, MD as the research that lead him to this decision.

We have new intensity on the home front as well. The Big News: We’ve decided to sell our beloved house and recording studio. Tiny sniff. The choice to do so has been two years in the making as we’ve gone back and forth on Hideout Studios, our personal Field of Dreams.

The original vision in building it was first, to scratch the recording studio itch in my husband, and second, to replace my income (or close to it), so I could follow my long-imagined desire to be home with my children during their early years.

We envisioned living in our home for twenty years or more and raising our family there. A new perspective and reality came with the Great Recession. When it hit both Mark’s interior design business and the recording studio, and I was in full SAHM mode, we went for months with 10 percent of our pre-baby income, whittling our savings away bit by bit to cover the bills, convinced each month things were bound to turn around and we needed to hang in there.

We finally turned the corner this Spring. And the experience left us with a keen desire for my husband to focus his attention on one business instead of two, and to lower our living expenses so we’re better prepared for the future. We have absolutely zero regrets in building our house and studio in the first place as we’ve grown in a 100 ways that we wouldn’t have otherwise. We’ve witnessed so many wonderful musical works of art come to life including Sweet Songs, Molly Venter, Craig Hella Johnson, and most recently — Ben Kweller’s latest album– plus many others in between. And now we prepare to pass the torch.

So we’ve been working like mad the last month or so to prep the house to go on the market some time in October. And the most significant part of this preparation will require us to move out for 10 days while our water-damaged wood floors are sanded and re-stained. Starting tomorrow.

The Universe knows I don’t do well with boredom. But, Jeesh!

So between all this hubub, in the back of my mind the last two weeks I’ve been mulling over how to keep on keepin’ on with my personal creative outlet and service to other new parents: Attachment Mama — AND stay reasonably well-rested and sane.

No answer yet except continuing to write, but less often.


 
Posted in AP & Self Care, AP and Working Moms | No Comments »


How Long Has It Been Since You Slept In?

September 9th, 2010
Author: Monica Cravotta

It’s been almost four years for me.

For the last few months, my girls have consistently woken up at 5:45 a.m. every day and there’s nothing I can do to coax them into go back to sleep with me. I’m not sure why I continue to try every morning.  Can you relate?

Standard morning for me:

I’m in a solidly deep sleep, dreaming something I rarely remember, and I’m awoken to:

“MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!”

I’m startled awake and quickly go use the bathroom knowing that I won’t have a chance for the next 30 minutes or longer because that’s exactly what they both need to do. While sitting there, the call for Mama repeats three or four or five more times with increasing intensity. Sometimes with unintentional vocal harmonies between both daughters. I force the urine out of my body as fast as I can so I can ease their angst and my own discomfort with the broken record and I rush into the little room they now share. (cute)

Izzy on a twin mattress on the floor. Sadie on a twin bed next to her. Occasionally they sleep together when they want to — so adorable.

“Hi Mommy” and “Izzy wants you Mommy” said at the same time.

“OK Sweet Girls, let’s go potty. But look out the window! See how dark it is? It’s still night time and we need to go back to sleep after potty. OK? Izzy? Sleep with Mommy?”

“No sweep. Poop Mommy. Poop-Poop!”

“OK Izzy, we’ll get you on the potty right now.”

“No Mommy!  Me first!  Me first!  I have to go right now!”

“OK Sadie, we’ll let you go first since you’re in big girl undies.  Sorry Iz.”

Izzy’s already on to another impulse and doesn’t care.

“MO-STER! LES HIDE!!!”

Giggles from Sadie.

“Yes Izzy, let’s hide!”

“Sades, let’s wait to play Monster. She has to go potty first. So do you.”

“OK. Mommy, guess what Sofia does at school when she finishes her work?”

“What?”

“She goes like this.”  (Points her finger in the air).

“Oh I see. Is that her way of saying she’s finished?”

“Yes, but that’s not what we do when we’re done.”

“What do you do?”

“Mommy! Poop! Iddy turn. Iddy turn.”

“Sadie, can you wrap it up? Izzy needs to go.”

“Mommy,” (grunt), “No.” Read More »

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