Archive for the ‘AP and Working Moms’ Category

The Search for our Perfect Childcare

As I prepare to relinquish my Stay At Home (occasionally Work at Home) Mom status this coming week, my feelings are all over the map. Sadness. Excitement. Relief. Anxiety.  I can’t allow myself to wallow in the part that is grief because it won’t do me or the girls or my husband any good. I’m sure I will cry my private cry on the way to work for the first time and I imagine I’ll have pangs of guilt or worry come up at various points during these first few weeks when my girls and I make this rather significant life transition to spending more time apart from one another.

In the big picture, I’m filled with gratitude that this job opportunity came my way exactly when it did.  Working for Whole Foods – a serious happy place for me for many, many years, and even more exciting — a job that is all about supporting my friend Rip Esselstyn and his Engine2 diet. I’ve been a fan of Rip’s recommended way of eating long before he wrote his book which is now a NY Times best seller.  In fact, Mark and I and my step-daughter Audrey are quoted in the book and one of Mark’s recipes is also included.

A few months after I had my second baby in late 2008 and was eating vegan again to support her gastro-intestinal issues, Rip asked if his PR agency could pitch me as an Engine2 success story to Women’s World magazine — I guess because I was losing weight relatively fast after having a baby.  But I still looked solidly pregnant! The magazine called me and liked my story and the next thing I know I found myself agreeing to be on the cover — all in the name of supporting Engine2!  Last summer John Mackey, Whole Foods CEO hired Rip to be the voice of healthy eating for the company. If you go into any Whole Foods, you’re likely to see the Engine2 book displayed somewhere.

Whole Foods Global Headquarters

I’ll be working on the sixth floor of the beautiful Whole Foods building with the grocery store an elevator ride away. And the store is biking distance from house. I haven’t ridden a bike since Sadie was born. With this job I finally have the official impetus to exercise again this way and re-commit to being fully “plant strong” as Rip likes to say.

Now.  For my sweet girls.  What’s the plan?  Who can I trust to care for them, love them, guide them, and teach them cool things in my absence?   Our singer-songwriter nanny, Molly, that both girls adored is no longer with us official the Friday before Mother’s Day as she signed on with a nationally touring band and will be joining them at the end of the month. Until I figure out what feels best for the girls and that we can afford (full-time nanny not an option) — I thankfully have a friend who is stepping in to help for the next 2 weeks.

Last week I got a wild hair and decided to explore a preschool/daycare option for the summer that was radically different from Montessori.  Montessori has  been my eldest daughter’s school experience since she was 22 months old and where my littlest will start in the fall.  (more…)

Posted in AP and Working Moms, Education | 2 Comments

“Slip, Trip, Stumble, Fall…

Tip the bucket, spill it all.  all-the-world-large

Better luck another day.

All the world goes round this way.”

Every page of Liz Scanlon’s All the World captures all that is pure, simple and earthy-true about the world we share. Playing at the beach. Climbing trees. Good food. Time with family. Day and night. Hot and Cold. Sun and Rain. Every page is beautiful thanks to her precious words and Marla Frazee’s masterful illustrations.

Because I feel like I’ve been stumbling a lot this week, her rainy day lines keep floating through my mind.

Better luck another day. All the world goes round this way.

Such a sweet nurturing message for us all when life doesn’t go the way we’d like.  We all stumble. We all fall. And what feels hard one day won’t the next.

What I desire and keep holding the intention to manifest — is steady, reliable work that will serve my higher good and the good of my family. And — WOW — it has felt like an incredible climb to bring it to life. (more…)

Posted in AP and Working Moms | 2 Comments

Bed-Wetting Regression and Mama Guilt

I’m just about to finish my third week of working almost full-time for the first time in seven years.  Prior to having my first daughter in October, 2006, I had been working 20-25 hours/week running my consulting business that I started in 2003.  So it’s a big change on multiple fronts.

I remain enormously grateful for the work and am enjoying writing for my new client. And the separation during the day from the girls has been hard for all three of us in different ways.  In addition to the girls crying a lot more and clinging to me a lot more during the dinner hour, all of our emotions are manifesting physically:

My sadness and guilt and worry goes straight to my jaw.  Over the last year, my unconscious teeth grinding at night has gotten pretty severe.  Two years ago, my teeth were perfectly aligned and my bite was even.  Now, just looking at my face you can see the awkward way my top and bottom teeth come together. Last week I managed to lose my sexy nighttime mouth guard – darn it all. (more…)

Posted in AP and Working Moms, Bed-Wetting, Toddler Bedtime | No Comments

Every Mama Has Her Juggling Act

life juggleI’d like to say that all our moments are sweet and easy like my last post.  But not really.  How boring would that be?

In our family, we’ve got the full range of light and dark, happy and sad, and everything in between. Overall, I’m realizing that regardless of our emotions, an overarching theme in our home involves a fairly intense amount of multi-tasking.

We’re managing three businesses:  our backyard recording studio, Hideout Studios; my husband’s interior design business, Cravotta Studios; and my consulting business, Bolder Communications. And I’m working to maintain this Attachment Mama blog and produce the Sweet Songs Children’s Album due to release in 9 weeks.

We’re attempting all this while desiring to be highly conscious in the way we care for our two little angels, ages 3 1/2 and 1 1/2.

My consulting business has been mostly on-the-side since motherhood began for me a little over three years ago, with minimal project work here and there — until two weeks ago. My new freelance work is turning out to be between 20 and 25 hours/week, but I’m choosing to have our baby-sitter for 30 hours/week so I have time to get organized and focused each day — the latter of which has been extremely challenging for me. I discovered that being with baby and toddler most hours of the day I live in a perpetual state of ADD that is hard for me to shake loose.

Holy moses….all I can say is I’m experiencing a new level of tired.

I’m generally one of those people that truly loves to have a lot going on. I feel more alive, more purposeful…more connected to the world around me. And all the balls that I toss in the air float up and down and around and energy is pumping and I feel connected to the Divine and life is good and then somebody throws in a few clubs. I think, “OK- Bring it! A new challenge!”  I’m thrown off my game a bit, but I keep tossing everything around. Then somebody throws in a few flaming torches.

And then I get into a bit of high-stress downward spiraling…wondering how I got into this act when I don’t even know how to juggle. (more…)

Posted in AP and Working Moms | 4 Comments

Back to Work Reflections

Sierra Club photo

Sierra Club photo

Since launching Attachment Mama last October, I’ve had a few internal mission statements going around in my head regarding the content.   “Keep it real” and “Keep it positive”.

Oxymoron?  Depends on any given moment in time.

Recently, I’ve had this funny new appreciation for something that — pre-marriage and children — I had often regarded with disdain: my paid work as a business writer.

I laugh thinking back on how I used to talk about work with my father during my twenties and early thirties. I’d say, “I know this comes easy to me; I know I’m really good at it; but Dad, I really think I’m supposed to be doing something else.”

What exactly I was supposed to be doing — I wasn’t sure. But as soon as I figured it out — I’d rock at it.  Something more Bohemian. Something more altruistic. Perhaps still writing — but instead of writing copy for press releases and brochures and web sites — I’d be writing plays, short stories, songs…..(a blog?).  (more…)

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Posted in AP and Working Moms | 6 Comments


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