Comments on: Excellent Tools for Maintaining Consistent Respect for Our Children in Blackard’s “Say What You See” http://attachmentmama.com/2010/01/excellent-tools-for-maintaining-consistent-respect-for-our-children-in-blackards-say-what-you-see/ Austin AP mama shares insights and information on breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, empathetic parenting and self care Fri, 10 Sep 2010 12:11:08 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Sandy Blackard http://attachmentmama.com/2010/01/excellent-tools-for-maintaining-consistent-respect-for-our-children-in-blackards-say-what-you-see/comment-page-1/#comment-150 Sandy Blackard Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:17:42 +0000 http://attachmentmama.com/?p=435#comment-150 Monica, I just found this blog post from a friend who forwarded me your recent Big tent post. Wow! You summarized the book. I'm honored! My hope has always been that my unique simplification of what works with kids would help make other author's works more accessible. Seems it does given the references to Kohn, Faber & Mazlish, & Karp. If your readers don't know Ginott, they should look him up, too. I sound the most like him, though I hadn't read his work when I developed mine. Concerning the CAN DOs, the best phrase in the world for even young children to hear is, "Must be something you can do!" Try that while brainstorming with the child. You will be amazed and delighted with their unusual solutions. It will probably increase the rate of effectiveness into the high 90%s. Then if there is no real world solution, step into fantasy and wish with the child. This extreme level of validation should get you near 100%. Also, I'm currently updating the little book. One thing I will add is the 3 basic needs to look for when considering CAN DO solutions: 1. experience (I've got this body, now what can I do with it); 2. connection (provided by attention and understanding); 3. power (what can the child control?) When a solution for experience and power cannot be found, connection gets them through. Thanks for sharing SAY WHAT YOU SEE with your readers! Sandy Monica,

I just found this blog post from a friend who forwarded me your recent Big tent post.

Wow! You summarized the book. I’m honored! My hope has always been that my unique simplification of what works with kids would help make other author’s works more accessible. Seems it does given the references to Kohn, Faber & Mazlish, & Karp. If your readers don’t know Ginott, they should look him up, too. I sound the most like him, though I hadn’t read his work when I developed mine.

Concerning the CAN DOs, the best phrase in the world for even young children to hear is, “Must be something you can do!” Try that while brainstorming with the child. You will be amazed and delighted with their unusual solutions. It will probably increase the rate of effectiveness into the high 90%s. Then if there is no real world solution, step into fantasy and wish with the child. This extreme level of validation should get you near 100%.

Also, I’m currently updating the little book. One thing I will add is the 3 basic needs to look for when considering CAN DO solutions: 1. experience (I’ve got this body, now what can I do with it); 2. connection (provided by attention and understanding); 3. power (what can the child control?) When a solution for experience and power cannot be found, connection gets them through.

Thanks for sharing SAY WHAT YOU SEE with your readers!

Sandy

]]> By: Monica Cravotta http://attachmentmama.com/2010/01/excellent-tools-for-maintaining-consistent-respect-for-our-children-in-blackards-say-what-you-see/comment-page-1/#comment-81 Monica Cravotta Wed, 13 Jan 2010 02:23:07 +0000 http://attachmentmama.com/?p=435#comment-81 The point that "Say What You See" author makes in matching toddler emotion is totally the same as Karp's Happiest Toddler on the Block. Yep. I was trying that on before I read this handbook. When Silly works -- why the heck not, right? The point that “Say What You See” author makes in matching toddler emotion is totally the same as Karp’s Happiest Toddler on the Block. Yep. I was trying that on before I read this handbook. When Silly works — why the heck not, right?

]]> By: amy http://attachmentmama.com/2010/01/excellent-tools-for-maintaining-consistent-respect-for-our-children-in-blackards-say-what-you-see/comment-page-1/#comment-80 amy Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:27:13 +0000 http://attachmentmama.com/?p=435#comment-80 is this any different that karp's happiest toddler on the block? good for you for not caring what the attorney said. i've found that carrying out these methods really makes other adult uncomfortable - but other children are sometimes almost giddy with excitement. why? because an adult is "being silly" (adults don't usually act this way) or because the adult is actually "getting" what a child is communicating? i'm not sure! is this any different that karp’s happiest toddler on the block?

good for you for not caring what the attorney said. i’ve found that carrying out these methods really makes other adult uncomfortable – but other children are sometimes almost giddy with excitement. why? because an adult is “being silly” (adults don’t usually act this way) or because the adult is actually “getting” what a child is communicating? i’m not sure!

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